Sometimes I wish I could be more. Do more. I will sometimes browse the blog world and come across all these amazing people. They are mothers and creators. They sew and make interesting projects. They cook magical meals and delicious deserts. They do all this and raise children. How is it all possible? How do they do it? How do they find energy and time? I want to be one of these people. I want to make my own jam, I want to sew Roxie a cute little dress, I want to make a quilt for Peter. I want to write personalized notes to my kids that they will cherish when they are older. I want to... I want to do it all. I just don't know how.
I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I'm not doing all these things that I envisioned doing. I had all these dreams and ideas when I was a teenager of what life with kids would be and it's just not so right now. I bought strawberry jam at the store the other day and realized that as a kid I never had store bought, always homemade. I want the same for my kids. What's stopping me? For one thing, I'm tired. I can barely make dinner. How do these ladies do it?
So do you, dear reader, feel the same? What projects do you have in mind? How do you get them all done? Sigh. I'm newly motivated to try. And keeping trying.
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8 comments:
I had a very similar conversation with Andre just last night. My big thing then was that I want to make our meals from scratch. None of the additives and preservatives and who knows what else is in our food. I don't know how to do it either.
But I think I will just do baby steps. I made homemade bread 2 or 3times the last few months. Maybe I can make that a habit.
Oh, I think all mom's feel like this. The thing have realized is that I can handle one or two creative outlets at a time, IF (and it's a big if) I let some of the non-essential things slide (like having an immaculate house or making something for dinner that I didn't buy in a bag from Costco).
You've got to take some time for yourself- even if you think you have no time. But also you shouldn't feel guilty if you can't make homemade strawberry jam, tend a world class veggie garden, teach clogging, take professional pictures, write a book, star in a community play, and learn the clarinet all while homeschooling six children under the age of eight.
Some people can do everything. Most of us can't. Love you!
Ooo. this is a good post. I think every mom has these moments...and you know what? I finally decided that I'm just lazy. I would rather read books in bed with the girls than make jam.
There are thing that I want to do and after 65 years, still have not started. Do you know how many times I have started my personal history? I always think about it but that does not get it started. Even now, with all (most) of the kids gone, I still can't find the time or the desire to start. But, look at what you have; two beautiful kids, a successful husband and a lot more. You are doing the right things at the right time. Sometimes, we have to do the important things first, like being there when Roxie and Pter need you the most.
oh dear, story of my life! i too am a victim of browsing amazing and magical blogs of people that just blow my mind. my life seems SOOOO medicore. i'm not creative, i don't do cute things, the list goes on.
i'm sure you're doing fantastic though, i don't want you to get all down and out here. i've seen some of your cute sewing projects so come on now! i think you're amazing personally. :)
I don't know how they do it either. Maybe they only have one kid. I know with one I can sometimes sew a little while She's napping but that doesn't happen every day. Seems like something must always be sacrificed. So if I choose to sew that means laundry ain't done. Or if I choose to do laundry that means I look nappy that day. I find that I always have to choose. I can't have it all at once. Maybe that's how they do it. They make jam, sew & make other yummy things but have a messed up house & look nappy all the time.
I never did it all. Sometimes I was just glad that the kids were alive when Skip came home. Other times I tried to do things but realized that the kids were the most important and I loved being a MOM ...so I played with them, and read to them, and we made goofy things together. And I look back and say "the kids turned out to be AMAZING adults" and now that I am old...er, I can do some of those other things. There is a time and season for just about everything. You are a great mom, don't be so hard on yourself. You have just survived a new baby plus a three year old. I think YOU are AMAZING and claim you as one of my own.
Love, Clare
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